When I was pregnant with Mason I had no idea what to expect, I was never really around babies growing up and I most certainly never had those mothers instinct. I’ll be honest, I never wanted children. So when I found out late on in my first pregnancy that I was, in fact, pregnant I had one of those panicky feelings that never really disappeared throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. How would I know what to do?? What if I didn’t bond with the baby?? What if I didn’t even want him when he was here?? Could I cope with a newborn?? So many questions I kept asking myself. What if I never had those motherly instincts kick in?? I seriously doubted myself quite a lot. But I have to admit, as soon as Mason arrived (even though it was traumatic and I get anxious thinking about going through it all again) those instincts kicked in and I went from being the most un-maternal person to someone that is very much so a maternal woman. I think I surprised a lot of people, myself included.
They say when you have your first baby you’re learning how to be a mother and what you think is best for your child and you’re maybe a bit too cautious over things. This time around though I’ve been thinking about things I’d do differently when baby number two arrives and while I’m still preparing for his arrival I thought I’d go through and share with you a few of those things and how I plan on achieving them.
When I had Mason I started to go into labour naturally but they had to induce me to try and help me along. My waters had broken and I was getting contractions but not as regular as they should have been. It was like my body was ready but then changed its mind. It was such a long and traumatic process if I’m completely honest. I had two unsuccessful pessaries put in that only made me go up to 1cm in 12 hours. then I was left by this time I’d been 24 hours without my waters and kept being told I would be next for the hormone drip. I was almost there naturally and ended up being rushed in for an emergency C-Section as Mason got stuck and started to go into distress. I don’t remember anything about his birth or even seeing him until the following morning. But because we had such a long recovery time and the whole process was so traumatic for me and Mason, this time I’d like to have a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). Thankfully everyone has agreed and have no real reason why I shouldn’t have a successful VBAC especially because I was almost there with Mason. They’ve run through the risk that my C-Section scaring could rupture so they will keep an eye on that but all the professionals are happy for me to go ahead and my notes from Mason even said to try for a VBAC. It’s more for the recovery time than anything especially with having 2 other children in the house and school runs to do. So it’s just a case of waiting for baby to decide when he’s ready to come now and hope and pray that all goes well.
I can honestly say I managed to breastfeed Mason for about two weeks, I tried so hard to keep going but I just couldn’t produce enough milk for him, he was not only a hungry baby but he also suffered from reflux. I had midwives in the hospital trying to convince me he wouldn’t breastfeed when he was firstborn and I should just put him on a bottle, I felt a bit like a failure, to be honest, and it hurt but I’m glad I did it as Mason and I have such a strong bond. This time I’m determined to breastfeed for at least up to 6 months and I know I just need to persevere a little longer and just keep going no matter how tired or demanding the baby gets and try not to let anyone else tell me otherwise. I do have some bottles though just in case this baby decides he doesn’t want to be breastfed.
I can’t say Mason is a fussy eater because he’s not really, however, he is quite particular with what he likes and wants to eat. I did try and get him to eat a good variety of foods but with him being my first I was very cautious of the things I gave him, and I didn’t let him get as stuck in and make a mess as much as I should have. This time around I’m going to let baby 2 get stuck in and get messy and explore a much more colourful and a larger variety of foods instead of sticking with safer options.
Establish A Better Bedtime Routine
When I had Mason I like to say I had a good bedtime routine but if I’m completely honest I never did. We lived at my mum’s for the first few months until we got our own home and then when we did move out we never really got into that routine. I tried to do the same things at the same time but I kind of just let Mason do things and fall asleep on his terms. He ended up co-sleeping with us until quite recently too. But I sometimes think that the OH’s shift patterns have never really helped. So this time around I’m determined to get all 3 into a better bedtime routine. Doing the same things each night to prepare us all for bed regardless of the shift the OH is on.
So those are the four main things that I’m concentrating on achieving with baby number 2. What do you think?? Have you been through any of these yourself??