***Warning, rant ahead***
I don’t usually get myself involved with many of the mum/girl groups on Facebook. I’m a member of most groups especially the ones in my area and I read a fair few, may give the occasional like and possibly answer a question or two but there was one question that has quite frankly pissed me off and then seeing all the other replies from what seem like narrow-minded mum’s, or mums with girls. Now don’t get me wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinions and each of us parent differently and my post may be classed as controversial to some but being a mum to 3 amazing BOYS, I can’t help but go on the defensive. So the question was;
Would you let your son wear nail polish even if their dad wouldn’t accept it because he’s a boy and it’s a girly thing to do?? Is the dad being sexist??
Now, quite a lot of ladies said never mind dad, it is a sexist comment and you should let the boy do it and even choose his favourite colour. But obviously, you get even more people saying dad is correct and boys shouldn’t be painting their nails, playing with dolls and prams or even wearing a dress!! This got me fairly annoyed, imagine if this question was about a girl wanting to play with trucks or football or something boyish?? Everybody would be screaming about equality and what’s good for a boy is good for a girl……But surely it should work for boys too??
The munchkin has spent pretty much most of his life with me, his mum. Watching me wear dresses, paint my nails and put makeup on. As with all children, they get curious, if a little girl asked, you’d go right ahead and do all those things because she’s imitating what she sees, guess what?? So are boys. Whenever, the munchkin asked to have his nails painted I’d let him choose a colour, if he wanted to dress up in a dress I let him. He went through a phase of watching My Little Pony and Disney Fairies and even asked for the MLP main character plushies one Christmas and he got them. As much as his dad would say I shouldn’t let him do it, he never once made any comments to him about it. He’s tried wearing lipstick too. If I’m honest, one of his best friends is a girl and he spends a lot of time with her and let’s face it they end up playing with dolls and prams.
I’ve never told my son, no you’re a boy you don’t do this, because in my mind if he thinks it’s something forbidden he could start doing these things hidden away when he gets older, and you know what let children experiment and try different things, children have voices and should be allowed to express themselves. We bang on about letting our children be children but then telling them certain things are wrong because of their sex?? Boys grow into dads, who have BABIES and PUSH PRAMS!!!
Shouldn’t we encourage boys and teach them how to be fathers while they’re young the way we do with little girls??
My son is a very caring, kind, sensitive yet confident boy. He knows he’s a boy and knows he wants to marry a woman and have children when he’s older. He’s very aware of his sexuality and can’t help but tell me if he sees a woman’s bum he likes. He’s comfortable in his skin and with who he is. He knows what he wants and he’ll go after it. He loves play fighting with his daddy and playing with cars and on his Nintendo Switch. He also likes to play football with some of his boyfriends. But he also likes to play with dolls and prams and have a little pamper with his girlfriends. He came home upset one day from school, a couple of years ago because his girlfriends all had a pamper party, they had cake, biscuits and music and dancing and he wasn’t allowed to join in because he was a boy and had to wait for the next day to go into the forest with the boys. In his eyes, he saw the girls all having a great time and wanted to join in. He told me he didn’t want to go to the forest with the boys because sometimes boy stuff is boring! I gave him his own pamper party that weekend at home and he loved it. He also had a great time with the boys in the forest too!
The fact that I had a lot of people telling me that I was wrong to let my son be a child and experiment, especially when he was 2-3 years old, with dresses and nail polish and even wearing high heels which in my eyes is all part of imaginative play and helps with any child’s development just really made me see how many people still live in this, if he’s a boy he should wear blue and play football frame of mind! I mean people bang on about being gender neutral and there shouldn’t be separate girls and boys toys and all that shite, yet so many people still think it’s wrong for a boy to play with girls toys and try things out. I’ve even had the comment it’ll make him gay! I mean seriously?? I can’t make my son gay for letting him try things out, and so what if he does end up being gay?? He’s still my son and I’ll still love him no matter what.
People may also say that children so young don’t know what they are doing, and what’s best for them, so we shouldn’t encourage it and should make up their minds for them, I say why shouldn’t we let them?? My son has always been very independent and speaks his mind quite often (he’s even almost gotten us into trouble with Social Services and the school, but that’s a whole different story) and even now at 8 years old I won’t say no to him trying new things, I will never tell him that he’s wrong for speaking his mind. He loves musical theatre and singing. He enjoys his swimming lessons and doing workbooks. I have and will always raise my boys to be polite, respectful, have manners and to treat women with respect. I will teach them that it’s not ok to hit another person whether it’s a boy or a girl. You don’t bully others or say nasty things. Even though my boys can be little turds at times, more so at home they are still very well behaved when we leave the house!!
Let kids be kids and have fun I say!!
Do you agree with me?? What do you think?? I’d love to read your thoughts on this subject.