An Open Letter To A Step-Child

My Dearest Step-Son,


Never in a million years did I think I was going to be a mum, let alone a step-mum but you and your brother are my biggest gifts. I’m very lucky to have a boy like you in my life and you’ve taught me so much.


You’ve no idea just how special you are and how much I love you. I’ll never forget the day I met you. You were tiny and so lively, you melted my heart.


I’m not going to pretend I know what it’s like to have my parents split up because I don’t I’m always thinking about you and how difficult things are for you on a daily basis. I get that it’s hard living in 2 separate homes with 2 sets of belongings and I totally understand that you can’t see your sisters, mummy and day everyday. It’s tough and if I could change things I would.


Me and daddy have had our moments, we’ve had ups and downs but I want to reassure you that we do love each other very much and we just want you to be happy. I want to be the best step-mum and I will never replace your mummy. I know I can be hard on you at times and you probably hate me for it, but, I do and say things because I care and love you. I’d love nothing more than for us to have that strong bond and relationship, I’m always here for you, anytime you want to talk or have a rant about anything.


I’d love it if you could open up more to me and I get you don’t know how to talk about your feelings, you’re just like your daddy. I want to be able to help you and to try and fix things. I totally understand that it feels uncomfortable when someone refers to me as your mum, so thank you for never kicking up a fuss.


Every time you leave our house I’m always thinking about you and how empty the house feels. I might not be the best step-mum at times but I’m still learning each and every day. You’re torn and you feel guilty when you go back to your mum’s, you want the love and support that me and daddy can give you but you also worry about your mum and if she would hate you for wanting to live with us.

All we want is for you to be happy and so does your mum, you have to understand that no matter what decisions you make your mum won’t hate you. You’re a strong, clever boy and I want you to be part of everything we do as a family. You’re welcome to our house anytime you like, if you want tea, to come and see your brother or just to simply get out of the house. You don’t have to wait for daddy to be home from work. I’d love for you and me to do thing together but at the moment you need to spend time with daddy, he misses you every day.

I want you to feel safe and loved. I don’t expect you to call me mum, even though over the years you have! I want us to be best friends. We both feel a bit awkward around each other at times but that’s because you’re growing up. I’ve never had a pre-teen before. I get it, and I understand it doesn’t help when your mum constantly says bad things about me and I know you’ve heard me say things in the past. I was wrong and I shouldn’t have but you have to understand that I don’t hate your mum.


I get angry and upset because of all the bad situations she’s put you in, I don’t like how her choices have been making you feel and you shouldn’t have to grow up as quick as you have. Me and daddy didn’t know how bad things were until that Summer in 2016, you need to be having fun and enjoying life as a child without a care in the world. We now understand that you’ve been carrying a huge weight on your shoulders and I hope this letter just lifts them a little.


I will always love you even though I didn’t give you life. I will always see and treat you as my own. I’m sorry if i don’t give you enough affection but I see how awkward you are and I don’t want to add any extra pressure, if and when you want a kiss or cuddle my arms are always open.


Lots of Love

Your Step-Mum



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